Growing my hair out was a spiritual journey. The truth is, while in the earlier stages of letting my hair grow, I wasn't feeling like myself. Physically was out of my desired shape, mentally not connected to my higher spirit. I was distraught about my current life situation, lacked vision and felt behind which resulted in a lack self-confidence within my own abilities. It got to the point where I didn't even pick up the camera, the main tool I use to make income, for the first 3-4 months of this year. I was buried in previous projects and lacked motivation to take on more due to feeling burnt out. I hesitated on taking new inquiries and would fret the sight of another DM or email asking what my rates were. I needed a change.
I realized I had to switch it up and do something different, so at the beginning of this year, I began to look inward. I started saying yes to all opportunities, booking more jobs and shooting more just for fun to build momentum. I enrolled into a Web Development course at a local community college and learned how to code a website from scratch. I took the class to challenge myself in a different domain that I wasn't accustomed to, however, never did it cross my mind that I'd actually understand how to code, let alone enjoy it (I'll write more about my coding experience in a future letter). I knew learning happens in baby steps and sure enough it clicked. This process was a grind but yet it was somehow fulfilling and I slowly felt that spark of vitality igniting within myself again. I began to find my mojo. I decided to keep my hair and have fun with it as I practiced radical acceptance and felt my energy flowing truly again.
Towards the end of my hair journey I began to really enjoy my look. The versatility with curls, braids and the classic afro. However, it was time to begin anew. I noticed I was giving more attention to my appearance and wanted to place that focus on my priorities in personal developing and becoming self-sufficient. As I look back at my images, I see a guy who was working relentlessly to figure it all out. A guy who did not quit on pushing through those self-imposed limitations, who experimented with possibilities and who showed up for himself. A guy who put one step forward and trusted the process.
The Afro T saga will be missed but in hindsight, what's next to come excites me even more. I'm looking forward to seeing how this version of T perceives opportunities and navigates through inner critiques.
A fresh cut can do wonders for the psyche. I feel revitalized not only because of the cut but because of the journey it took to get here. Transitioning through various hairstyles allowed me to witness a different side of me and express my inner creativity uniquely.
Long story short, "I'm back". Back with a renewed state of mind, a confident determination and an ambitious demeanor. I may not have it all figured out but I'm okay with it. While some paths are more peculiar than others, we each have our own journey to travel - and that's the beauty beneath it all.
If you've been feeling unlike your higher self, stuck or complacent, keep moving forward. That's all we can do in the present moment. Keep striving towards the vision, keep working on your spirit and keep allowing good energy to flow to and through you. I personally feel indifferent giving unsolicited advice but this is the mindset that helped pull me out of my slump. Just wanted to share a bit of my story. Let's continue to get it. Keep momentum and stay in motion.
Peace,
T.
Writer: Tyler Austrie @tyleraustrie
Photo by: Kayla de Guzman @yoookayla
Barber: Gabe Brown
@ohimgabe @gabeisyoufaded